Wednesday, April 18, 2012

A-Z Challenge - P is for Peeping Toms and Post It Notes


So, we have these neighbors, two sisters that live together, neither ever married. They are good old girls. Sister G (on the left) is a hunter/fisherwoman. She is always wearing camo and sports a classic rat tail mullet hair style. Sister T (on the right) is never seen without a chaw of dip in her cheek [Author's note: There are three sizes of tobacco plugs, jib (small), dip (medium), and chaw (large)]. They're good neighbors, there when you need them and keep to themselves the rest of the time.

For two years we'd been saying (when we stopped to gossip on the hard road), "Why don't y'all come on down to the house sometime. Just stop on in."

For two years they'd been saying, "Well we might just do that."

Of course, it never happened. Until the peeping Tom incident. It was rumored that someone was stalking around looking in windows in the dark. What to do? Why learn to shoot the 22 rifle we'd been given. But how do you shoot a gun?

I swear, before the words "teach, gun" had left our mouths, the sisters were on our doorstep, rifles and shells in hand, empty diet coke cans in a sack. We spent a pleasant afternoon, deafening birds and killing aluminum cans.

When they left, we looked at the gun. It was covered in Post-It notes. Step 1. Step 2. Step 3. Somehow, it didn't seem a burglar was going to stop to let us figure out directions.

So we got rid of the gun.

Do you have any neighbors that don't fit the mold?


19 comments:

  1. lovin' this! Thanks for coming by the blog :)

    Your illustrations are soooo fun

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  2. Everyone has a neighbor who doesn't fit in.

    Speaking of peeping Tom's, I was once accused of it.

    Here's the story.

    I was playing football one late afternoon in a neighbor's front yard. An errant ball went into the neighbor's yard and I chased after it.

    I tripped over an untied shoelace.

    Well, there was a little flower shelfy thing nearby so I propped my foot upon it to tie said aforementioned shoe.

    What I didn't expect was my 16 year old neighbor to be in her bra and panties preparing for whatever function it was. I saw her, she saw me...

    THEN SCREAMED!

    I ran.

    After some heated words between our fathers, and sworn testimonies from the boys I was playing football with, her dad agreed it has been a harmless incident.

    Thank God they believed me.

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  3. GIT R DOOOONE!!!!! :D
    I freakin love Larry!

    They sound like dependable neighbors in rough time. ;)

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  4. Oh, Jeremy - what a story. I bet you were freaked out. In a couple of ways! LOL!

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  5. Tobacco chewing women who show up with guns at the door are not to be messed with. Any peeping Tom who takes them on gets what's coming to him.

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  6. That's a hilarious story :)

    Hope you’re enjoying the challenge so far!
    --Damyanti, Co-host A to Z Challenge April 2012

    Twitter: @AprilA2Z
    #atozchallenge

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  7. I thought the gun was for your own use, not that of the buglar. Anwya, guns aren't the solution. You need to talk a peeping tom to death. Blog on!

    http://francene-wordstitcher.blogspot.com

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  8. Fun story. :)

    I think I'm the neighbour that doesn't fit...

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  9. Yeah, we're probably the neighbors that don't exactly fit in.
    Last summer, my husband looked at our front yard and declared that we were one ceramic bird bath away from becoming "those hippies at the end of the block".
    (it was said with pride.)

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  10. Yeah, we're probably the neighbors that don't exactly fit in.
    Last summer, my husband looked at our front yard and declared that we were one ceramic bird bath away from becoming "those hippies at the end of the block".
    (it was said with pride.)

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  11. This conjured up such images....! ;-)

    Thankfully, none of our neighbours show tendencies for using firearms, although a few of them seem to have a penchant for power tools - the bigger and noisier the better. They never seem to be able to enjoy a weekend without ripping something down or building something up!

    Just arrived here via the 'surprise me' button on the blog-hop - happy A-Z'ing!

    SueH I refuse to go quietly!
    Twitter - @Librarymaid

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  12. In this country, getting a gun licence isn't that easy; and in the state where I live, getting one is well-nigh impossible. You have to prove to the satisfaction of the authorities that your life is in danger before you're issued one, and that's only for a handgun of .22, .25 or .31 calibre. Which is fine by me. I defy anyone who's ever spent time picking shards of bone, shotgun pellets and broken teeth from a kid's accidentally blown-apart face to be pro-gun-ownership.

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  13. Awesome post! Gotta love these kind of neighbors.

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  14. Bill - gun ownership is a hotly debated topic in our country and out her in the country you'd be at the end of a gun if you tried to take them away. Me - that was my one and only gun ownership experience.

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  15. This is hilarious! We have some kooky old neighbors who don't have a sense of modesty AT ALL. The older man mows the lawn in a speedo. NO JOKE. And I've stopped going over there after his wife answered the door in a towel that barely covered all of her. Nicest people ever, though. Just very quirky!
    Btw, I tagged you on my blog!! :D

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  16. So funny - love the drawing.
    I, like other commenters, fear that we are the odd ones out. It feels like that since I'm surrounded by women who are very house-proud and invested in new countertops and bathroom remodeling. They're also huge over the hedge gossipers. They're not bad people, not at all. They just make me tired.

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  17. That's a great story. :)

    I can't think of any neighbors who don't fit a mold off the top of my head . . .


    The Golden Eagle
    The Eagle's Aerial Perspective

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  18. The accompanying drawing makes the story even better. Poor Bambi no more. :-( But they sounds like great neighbors.

    Wishing you continued success with the A to Z challenge,
    Jocelyn

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  19. I've had some pretty odd neighbors, but no gun incidents.

    Poor Jeremy!

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